Hard Times

I'm in my second semester of my freshman year at college, and I received word that my grandfather wasn't doing very well, and was in intensive care. It was the first time away from home, that I was unable to rush to the hospital, and be with my grandfather. We seem to take advantage of things, and when it comes down to situations like this, we regret the decisions we make. I freaked out when I found out about this. Besides the intense work load that I have, I am told that my grandfather, who has been by my side through everything, is in intensive care. What do i do? I want to visit him, and be by his side, but my parents don't want me to come, afraid that it will totally crush me, leading to the destruction of my first year of college. I was in my dorm room the other day, and I called my grandfather. He is probably the toughest person that I know. He has been in the hospital countless times, and was always the first one to argue with the doctors, telling professionals that they had no idea what they are talking about. That he would be fine, and nothing would stop him from seeing his grandchildren grow up to have their own kids.

My grandpa has always been so confident. I look up to him. For the first time in my life, I heard my grandpa sound defeated, something I have never seemed to hear. My moral and overall mood seemed to be stepped and beaten down. I immediately broke down. I was scared. I kept thinking what was i going to do if my grandfather passed away, and I wasn't there. So i began to write the speech that I was going to give at my grandfather's funeral. It goes something like this,

"Where do I start? My grandfather was the most inspirational and respectful man I’ve ever known. Through every endeavor, he has always been there either by my side or watching me. No matter the circumstance, he always made it to Aj, Alexis’, or my own extracurricular activities, ranging from musical recitals to football to baseball to basketball. He always told me to keep my head up. No matter the issue, you’re never defeated until you admit it. No one can tell you that you’re done for. We are in control of our own destiny and fate, nobody else. This is something I’ve held on to tightly for as long as I can remember. I’m in my dorm room right now listening a song by Bone thugs in Harmony called “These are the days of our lives.” The times I spent with my grandfather always seemed to be the best days of my life. Since pre-school, every first day of school, grandpa would come by just as we were about to leave. He would hop out of his car, and give Alexis, AJ, and I each $5. I will never forget the first time he did it when I was in pre-school. It was the first time I had ever been given any money. I thought I was on top of the world. I wish I could go back to the first day I got my drivers license and drove to go see my grandfather and not my friend although it was my grandfather who taught me how to drive, in his Mitsubishi gallant with a missing hubcap. At the age of 11, I remember sitting in the passenger seat, and asking grandpa if I could steer. He looked at me as if I was crazy, but for all of you who know my grandpa, that didn’t necessarily mean No. He wanted to know why, but put two and two together and realized that I wanted to do something driving related because my brother and sister had just recently received their permits. For as long as I could remember, grandpa always took Alexis, AJ, and I even to Dadeland mall for our annual Christmas time ritual. Kurt, he always made sure that you were invited, and especially loved when you were able to come; he loved as if you were truly his grandson. Anyways, we’d go to Ruby Tuesdays, and get the big chocolate shortcake desert. I’d take a scoop of the whip cream and although I always pulled the “hey grandpa this smells funny, can you smell it,” joke, he would always fall it, setting himself to be a victim of the spoonful of whipped cream to his nose. That would make my day. As I grew older, and began to drive, I began to do what many teenagers begin to do when they get their licenses; not come home till their curfew. Not until times like this do we wish we had stopped by instead of just driving by doing the infamous Grandpa honk. I know my grandpa knows that I loved him, but I only wish I showed him more. He would show me so much, but I always seemed to cool for a hug, or a kiss on the head. What I would do for a hug or a kiss from my grandpa right now. God bless his soul, I know he will. My grandpa lived his life with no regrets, doing what he loved when he wanted to do it, up until the very day that he died. He will always live within me."

To write that speech, was probably one of the toughest writing assignments I have ever had to complete. I wanted to make sure that every sentence had some significance behind it. What do I do? By writing this, was i wrong?